I was in the United States enjoying the fall season and visiting my family when my boyfriend made a very unexpected suggestion:
“Hey, why don’t we emigrate to Estonia?”
At the time, I was living in Switzerland, my home country, and I knew nothing about Estonia! He, on the other hand, had lived in Tallinn before for a while. He was launching his company and building his businesses there. But I didn’t even know where Estonia was on the map! I had an idea, but I couldn’t tell you exactly where it was. Something you need to know about me is that I am not spontaneous at all! I love to plan.
I don’t just do things in the spur of the moment and I had never done anything like that. Keeping this in mind,
you’d think my answer was no. But what I really said was… “Okay! Let’s do it!”
At first glance, the idea of moving to a foreign country I had never visited was daunting. I didn’t even speak the language! But I was at a point in my life where I felt stuck and nothing was really happening for me. A year earlier I had been promoted at work and I was leading a small team, and I was also about to finish my studies. The problem is I was a bit bored with life… I wasn’t unhappy, but I realized that
what makes me happy in the long run is a change for the better and constantly facing new challenges.
So, when he made the suggestion, I jumped on it. After all, what did I have to lose?
However, I underestimated how overwhelming the challenges would be. When I moved, I was suddenly confronted with being away from my friends and family, not having a job, living with my now-husband, starting my own company, and adapting to a foreign culture. Essentially, my life had changed completely.
I had a rough time for a few months and even though it seemed I was unhappy living in Estonia, that wasn’t the case at all. It was just the transition that was difficult for me, as it would be for anyone. Looking back on it, what was really going on is that
I was put face to face with my demons for the first time in almost 30 years.
And then, the pandemic hit! I was stuck at home, except it didn’t feel like my home yet and I was dealing with many different changes at once. Needless to say, it was difficult to find mental and emotional balance. This is why 2020 has been the most challenging year for me.
But little by little, it got better.
I’ve been away from my home country for a year now and even though I still struggle with missing my family in the US and Switzerland, things are getting better and better. But oh boy, it was and still is hard work.
What about you? What kind of emotional challenges are you facing? Let’s talk about it!